Life Gets Crazy
by FateDoctrine
Summary: A whole month has passed since Chloe's sacrifice to save everyone in Arcadia Bay. Now December, Max still tries to get back on her feet, with the help of Kate and Warren. Winter Break arrives and Max goes back to Seattle for the Holidays, but ends up having nightmares of chaos not only in Seattle, but the whole world. With Chloe gone, Max must look to Kate and Warren for support.
1. Remembrances

**This story takes place after the "True" ending of Episode 5, so for all those who have not seen it, STAY AWAY IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU! Also, just another heads up, this story will be more on the fantasy side as well. It won't be overly done as if they're going to Narnia or something, but there will be expansions of the rewind ability, my own "explanations" about it and other spiritual stuff going on, since Life is Strange sort of focused more on the scientific side of things.  
**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters of Life is Strange but the original story and some characters. All rights go to the creators, Square Enix and DONTNOD Entertainment.**

* * *

 **Life gets Crazy  
**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Episode 1: Remembrances**

* * *

It's been 1 whole month since her funeral and I still couldn't exactly get the sound of the gunshot out of my head. I couldn't forget the sound of her voice when she feared the thought of the bullet piercing her. I couldn't forget Joyce's hoarse voice after all the crying she had to go through. There were a lot of things that I couldn't forget...a lot of things I didn't want to forget. That crazy, unforgettable week had so many bad memories, but so many good memories. Memories that only I could remember. I would've liked to wear, as Chloe said, and I quote, my "Generic brand t-shirt and jeans", but the month of December is a cold one, obviously. I wore a black long sleeved shirt and threw on a jacket with my regular jeans and boots.

Going to class still felt weird. Of course Principle Wells gave me some time off to mourn early after her death and get back on my feet, but knowing Chloe, she wouldn't want me to be sad forever. I'd just kill the vibe. I came out of the dorms and looked up to the roof. Instantly, the thought of rain, my head pounding, my nose bleeding, and Kate's bloodshot red eyes all came back to me. I'd be lying if I said that was a memory I wanted to revisit, but as painful an experience as that was, I _did_ save her in the end...

It's crazy how this only happened 1 month ago, yet it feels like a thousand years. It makes me wonder just how much time did I fuck up to get to this point. How much of that had any meaning? Just the thought of it makes me mad at myself. And just like that, regrets start rolling in. It's because of these fucking regrets and indecisive thoughts that I abused my rewind powers in the first place. I looked down at the steps and remembered I had to prank Victoria to get her out of my way. Poor Samuel took the blame, but I needed to do it. Looking back, I'm glad I at least didn't make fun of her. She's just confused. If someone influential in her life just told her to do what she wants to do and not what she feels like she has to do, I'm sure she'd be one of the more humble people at Blackwell, as hard as that is to believe. After all, she _did_ support Taylor when her mother was sick. Though, Courtney is just a tool.

I continued to walk the Blackwell campus. Every step I took it was like I was remembering something different. Something that happened during that crazy week. I came to the spot where I remembered seeing Kate being "bullied" by David. If I had known his intentions from the start I probably could've prevented a lot of things...probably could've brought other things to light too. I felt so bad for hurting David the way I did. The worst part is, I couldn't exactly change Joyce's mind about him either.

I let out a big sigh and walked to the front of the school. I went to sit down by the fountain. Mr. Jefferson's pictures were taken down...some were replaced, but as much as it pains me to say this, the current pictures weren't as good as Jefferson's. That gave me a headache just thinking about it. After what he did to not only me, but Chloe, Kate, Rachel and even Nathan, I saw parts of me that I never knew I had. Parts of me that I'm honestly scared of revisiting. I haven't exactly kept up with the news on Jefferson, though I should, but just seeing his face makes me unbearably angry. All I know is either life without parole or Death Row is waiting for him. Either way, the bastard is getting what's coming to him.

As for Nathan...well...a part of me sympathizes with him and another part of me hates him. The fear in his voice when he knew he was going to meet his end to Jefferson in the message he left me almost brought a tear to my eye, and it's frightening that I had to say "almost". But that doesn't change the fact that he's sick. He took interest in what Jefferson did and as a result, Rachel died and Kate was pushed to the edge. There are some mistakes that you just can't afford to make...yet I've made so many myself. You could say that it doesn't matter now since I changed history for good, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened, even if nobody else remembers.

I saw Kate walking to class, so I took my ass off of the fountain to go talk to her. We were going the same way anyway. "Hey Kate." I called out to her just a few feet away. She stopped to turn to me.

"Oh, hi Max." Her voice was so soothing and innocent. It sounded so refreshing to hear and I can always count on Kate and her faith. She's been precious the entire time, constantly looking out for me as if she had a debt she could never repay. And in a way, I feel like that's what she really thinks. We just talked about a whole bunch of nothing. I think she wanted to spare me the thought of Chloe, but it wasn't gonna work anyway. Not like its her fault.

As we talked, I remembered that it was almost Winter Break. I was going back to Seattle for the Christmas time, and while I didn't want to take Kate away from her family during this time, I really wanted to be selfish for once and ask her to come with me to meet my parents. I wanted to brag about the friends I've met to them. But a part of me wasn't ready for the rejection I was obviously going to get. I held my tongue, at least for now.

"Oh Max, I was going to go to Two Whales Diner after school. Do you want to come along? Everything's on me today." She tried to persuade me, and obviously, it was working. It might be a better time to ask her there too, so I'll try to make my move then. I accepted her request. "You should bring Warren with you too." Somehow I knew she would say that. It's almost like deja vu, because I remember her saying this in the alternate timeline in the hospital when I visited her. Warren has also been very precious this passed month too. It's not just because of his attraction towards me, but I can see he's genuinely concerned. It makes me happy, honestly. I've been kinda awkward around him though. Uncharacteristically so. I DID kiss him during the storm and even though he doesn't remember, it's still clear in my mind. It didn't seem weird at the time, but I was kinda acting on my adrenaline and after all that support, even after being caught in the middle of that "cray" week, he deserved it. Hell, I didn't even kiss Chloe, and she DARED me! I have every right to be awkward in this situation. That was my first kiss, let alone with a boy I care about.

Almost on impulse, I followed through with the deja vu-ish conversation and asked her what she thought of Warren, like I didn't already know the answer. And like I expected, I got the exact same answer I remembered from that time. "He's smart and silly. He's got such a good heart. And he's a cutie-pie. You know, he likes you, right?"

"Heheh, So I've heard..." That was the first thing that popped into my head. That socially awkward response. I couldn't let her know that I traveled through time endlessly and half the time hearing about his attraction towards me. Kate made a frame of my face with her fingers and closed one of her eyes. This was the most outgoing I've ever seen her, like all the stress in her world was nonexistent. Her mannerisms just show it. Anyway, she was just looking at me.

"You two would make such a cute couple. I can see it now." Kate was embarrassing me. When I get shy and nervous, I almost look sad. All I could think about was putting an end to this in the most non-obvious way possible.

"Heh, Kate Marsh, match-maker. I'm glad to see someone is looking out for my love life." I smiled. I wanted to end the topic of Warren, but the smile was genuine. What I just said also sounded familiar, not that it wasn't already obvious.

"I try. I support you two. 100%" She and I chuckled a bit.

"Thanks." I thought to myself for a bit. Maybe I should try bringing Warren to Seattle with me too. If Kate isn't able to go, I highly doubt Warren would pass up the chance...Its hard to believe that after everything I've been through, a single kiss has me tripping balls right now. Especially since its been just about 1 whole month since then. (insert sigh here).

* * *

 **That's the end of that. I proofread this, but there might still be some errors or inconsistencies so forgive me :P. To give a quick detail of the story, this is obviously told in Max's POV, but its almost as if its one of her journal entries. There will be chapters or scenes that are omnipresent narrative based and even POV of different characters. Since these characters are not mine, the hardest challenge right now is to keep everyone true to their own personality. But this story will not end any time soon so there's room for improvement. (I got 3 parts planned. This is the first chapter of the first part)**

 **Tell me what you guys think. Anything that can help me improve is welcomed.**


	2. The Butterfly

**Life gets Crazy  
**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Episode 2: The Butterfly**

* * *

Sitting in Jefferson's class was as awkward as can be. I can't count the amount of times I had to say "the Daguerreian process" let alone the number of times I used my power to come back to this room. Frankly, I was tired of it. I was half expecting them to shut this room down and never use it again, but I guess that would be a bit excessive. We still don't have a teacher as yet though. It's just a room to study our notes for now, and ever since the scandal with Jefferson and Nathan's shooting, Blackwell hasn't been the most popular of places to come to.

I sat in the back of the room like I always did. Victoria and Taylor at my left side and Kate on my right, as usual. Of all the people I expected to show up at Chloe's funeral, Victoria was a pleasant surprise. I don't think her and Chloe ever spoke, at least not regularly and I never bothered to ask. I don't know if she was there for me or if she had another reason, but that didn't exactly matter to me. Fact is, she was there. Sometimes the action speaks louder than the motive and vice versa. I made it a goal to try to talk to her, but for some reason, I kept stopping short. I thought I was done with all that hesitant bullshit, but somethings don't change.

I've actually noticed her look my way a few times, as if she wanted to say something to me also. I think she wants to see how I'm doing, but she probably doesn't feel right about it, considering our current "relationship". I never did hate her, though at times, she would make it really hard NOT to. Its just I never understood why someone so talented had to act so ugly. And she did open up to me at the "End of the World" party, even though she doesn't know it now. In the end though, I know how I feel towards her, as well as her feelings toward me. I guess that's enough. At least for now. I just don't want to force my way into fake relationships and call it "friendship" anymore. That's one of the reasons as to why I haven't used my rewind ability since that Friday.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tempting though. There have been times when I just wanted to rewind a couple seconds to fix something that should not have happened, but I'm afraid of this ability now more than ever. That week was horrible, but I don't want Chloe's sacrifice to be in vain. I don't want to believe that twisting her fate WASN'T the reason for the storm. Of all my regrets, that would be my biggest, and I'm afraid of what I would do to myself if that was ever the case.

But let me tell you how crazy life is, because even as I say that, I feel like I WANT a reason to feel more depressed. I NEED it. It's like I'm asking God or the powers that be to give me as much misfortune as they can give me. Anything that causes me pain, especially after playing god on other people's lives. Lately, I feel like I've been more self-critical than probably my entire life. Blaming myself for so much, cursing myself for other things that were already out of my hands, and so much more. For a power that I naively imagined would change my life and the lives of others for the better quickly turned into the curse that made me hate myself. I'm a slave to the stress and the shackles that bruise my ankles and wrists are the memories that haunt me.

I felt a headache coming so I palmed my forehead. Ever since coming to Blackwell I could never seem to get away from headaches. But this is one reason I'm looking forward to Winter Break so much. Hopefully I can get Kate and Warren to follow as well, at this point, I feel like I can tell them just about anything...anything minus my power that is. After being lost in my thoughts, I finally heard the bell ring and everyone around me was starting to get up. I saw Victoria sneak a peak at me before leaving with Taylor. I am going to say something to her, but its only December. There's no rush.

I got up and walked over to Kate who had just finished packing her bag. "Max, you're going to bring Warren, right?" She asked, smiling as if she saw right through me. It's hard to believe how assertive she can be.

"Yeah, but you go get him. I'm going to the girl's room for a sec." I told her.

"A second to powder your nose, eh, Max Factor?"

I facepalmed with an embarrassed smile. "Just get Warren. I'll be right back." Seeing the real Kate with jokes kinda scares me, because I realized what I'm in for. But I definitely need it in my life. I guess when you grow up with 2 other sisters, constant teasing becomes a part of your lifestyle. And I've been nicknamed a lot of things, but "Max Factor" takes the cake. I can't believe I was just nicknamed after a cosmetic company and by Kate of all people, considering that was the first time she nicknamed me. At least I think that's the first.

Kate went to Warren's class and I walked casually to the bathroom. Of course nothing changed in the halls of Blackwell. People who talked to each other stayed with each other and others who were normally bullied were still obviously bullied. I changed reality again so it's not like I expected change, but its a bit of a let down knowing that the effort I put in for other people won't influence better behavior since nobody in this reality remembers shit.

I walked into the restroom to wash my face. Another deja-vu feeling for the day and it feels like I've had a lot of them so far. I washed and wiped my face. I gave myself a minute to do nothing and just reflect on that day one more time, not like I could ever forget. I just remember being so confused when Nathan came in. He just talked to himself and sounded so stressed out.

I leaned on the wall. I remember Chloe popping in trying to blackmail Nathan. I didn't recognize her at the time but I also couldn't see straight. Their argument rang in my ears one more time for the day,

 _"I can tell everybody that Nathan Prescott is a punk ass who begs like a little girl and talks to himself..."_

 _"You don't know who the fuck I am, or who you're messing around with!"_

 _"Where'd you get that? What are you doing? Come on, put that thing down!"_

 _"Don't EVER tell me what to do. I'm so SICK of people trying to control me!"  
_

 _"You are going to get in hella more trouble for this than drugs..."_

 _"Nobody would ever even miss your "punk ass" would they?"_

 _"Get that gun away from me psycho!"_

 ** _BANG_**

I cringed again when the gunshot played back in my mind. It sounded so real as if it just happened, but I was just lost in my memory. I didn't even know I was crying until I sniffed and felt my eyes burn. I couldn't let Kate and Warren see me like an emotional wreck so I washed my face again, but I was lost in my thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking of what would have happened if I never found out about my rewind powers and if I had been less afraid. Thinking about that now, I realize my life could have been so much different.

Wiping my eyes, I saw the blue butterfly flying around me. It's crazy, cause my mind was just on it too. It landed on the top of the mirror in front of me. I've seen it so many times already but I still don't know what to think of it. The blue wings remind me of Chloe obviously, but something about it just seems...not...of this world. Samuel was always going on about spirit animals...so could this be one of them? It wasn't transparent and it definitely wasn't intangible. I reached my hand out to touch it, but Kate came through the door to come get me.

"Max, are you ok? We've been ready for a while now." I stopped short and looked at Kate.

"Oh right, sorry. I got kinda distracted." I chuckled it off.

She smiled at me, "What else is new?" She took my hand. "Let's go. You're soulmate is waiting."

I laughed embarrassingly, but quickly succumbed to her teasing. "Well...let's not keep him waiting any longer."


	3. Vision

**Life Gets Crazy  
**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Episode 3: Vision**

* * *

Sitting in Two Whales Diner was another awkward experience. It felt like that for a few reasons actually, but truth of the matter is that I've only ever hung out here with Chloe. As little kids and as "young adults". This is my first time hanging out with friends at the diner that isn't Chloe or Chloe's parents. It's bittersweet when I think about it. Kate had me sit next to Warren. I guess in this case, Kate was being my wingwoman...except Warren is a guy, not a girl. Warren sat on the outside seat while I sat closest to the window. He looked around for a bit while sitting. "It feels like _forever_ since I've been here. Thanks for inviting me."

I looked his way and smiled. "Don't thank us Warren. We're all friends here, after all."

"Yeah, this is something we should do more often. It's nice to get away from Blackwell drama for a day." Kate added.

"Tell me about it. Everything from Mr. Jefferson to Nathan, I've never had a more intense week and it didn't even involve me!"

I let out so much air after Warren said that. If there was an award for the most ironic statement of the year, Warren would have gotten the unanimous vote...It feels like I used the term "irony" wrong in this statement, but at this point who cares? When I looked around the diner, things were busier than usual and so was Joyce, so it took a while for her to finally get to our table. It didn't matter much though, I was enjoying the idle talk between us 3. I looked at the "scientific graffiti" that I saw my first time back here. I giggled a bit. "Warren, you wrote that, right?" I said, reaching across pointing to the graffiti.

He looked at the graffiti I pointed at. "Oh, hey I remember this! Yeah, that was me. The world needs to know.

"Know about what exactly? I can't even read it now, its so scratched up."

"I had just found out that—"

"It's ok, Warren. I don't need to know." I had to cut him off. It's not like I mind hearing the speech, but it would probably be too difficult for me or Kate to understand, and I'd hate to just lead him on, nodding my head in "amazement" as if I understood everything. I wasn't named after Max Born for a reason. We're photographers, not scientists.

"Are you sure? You're missing out on my biggest discovery so far." Warren is such a nerd, but I can't help but smile. So goofy and innocent. It's hard to believe that he was able to "go ape" all over Nathan the way he did, knowing how dangerous he was.

"How about you tell me when you win the Nobel Prize for one of your biggest inventions or discoveries."

"You really have that much faith in me?"

I rested my hand on my cheek, "Who wouldn't? You have the potential, Warren. You just have to go for it. I'm still working on that confidence, but someone I knew taught me that."

Kate had been reading a book, but I could sometimes see her glance toward me to see how I was doing. Although she hadn't been talking much, she was anything BUT a third wheel. She closed her book and looked at Warren. "She's right, Warren. There are countless people who worked their way to recognition by being humble 24/7, but sometimes you just need to seize the opportunity for yourself. This world is one big competition and you can't afford to fall behind. We support you 100%."

"Thanks you two." Warren said.

"I know I brought it up, and this Nobel Prize talk is nice, but let's take it one step at a time and focus on getting you an A+ on your next exam."

"One small step for Warren Graham, one giant leap of faith by his two trusting companions." I facepalmed when he said that and Kate giggled and went back to her book. Did I mention that he was such a nerd?

Joyce finally came our way after dealing with so many other customers that were there before us. The wait was worth it though. I felt like I got closer to Kate and Warren with just some idle talk. Joyce looked tired in more ways than one, but I'm sure she already knew that, as much as she tries to hide it. "How are you fine young adults today?"

"Hi Joyce." The 3 of us said altogether. I could tell we all wanted to ask her how she was doing, but we all can see it in her face. David, her workers, Warren, Kate and I and everyone else who is associated with her have told her to take some time off, but she just feels the need to work and David is doing the same, but while Joyce is working herself to death, David looks almost uninterested in the job. It's too be expected though. I basically ruined their lives, but what was I supposed to do? David and Joyce would rather die than know Chloe is dead and Chloe would rather die than know Joyce and David are dead.

In this world filled with emotions, ideals and morals, you just can't win, but I'm done feeling sorry for myself for one day. I'm here with friends who are trying to make the most out of their free time and I won't burden them with my depression.

"What about you, Max? How are you feeling?"

"I...get by, I guess." I forced a smile.

"I know it's been hard Max. But we just have to take it one step at a time."

"I've heard _that_ before..."

"And do well to remember it. I hate to say it, but there will be a lot more where this came from. That's a part of life, as unfair as it is, its not something we can control."

"Believe me, Joyce. I totally understand." I mean I had to find that out the hard way. I _altered_ the lives of others, but I had no _control_ over it. Life is unfair? Understatement of the century.

"Now that that's out of the way, what do you 3 want to eat?", Joyce said as she got out the pen and pad to write down our orders. As tired as she looked, I could see color coming back to her face slowly. I guess she really does treasure the time she has with us. I'm glad just being here for her can give her some kind of comfort.

"Ok, I realize it's the afternoon, but I still want to eat your Belgian Waffles."

"Me too." Kate and Warren said in unison.

"Well, the breakfast menu is done, but you 3 have been so precious during this time that I'll make an exception. And as a added bonus, it's on the house.

"We couldn't let you do—" Kate said.

"Don't sweat the small stuff. This is the least I can do. You 3 have been the flashlight in the dark times of my life so far and I hope you will continue to guide me, just as I will guide the 3 of you."

"Thank you, Joyce, really. And you don't have to worry. We'll always guide you." I told her with a warm smile.

Joyce sighed. "Max, when I look at you it gets harder and harder to believe that you've grown so much. It feels like so long ago now that you and Chloe spilled wine on our carpet.

"It feels even longer for me honestly..."

"Well, that comes with maturity, Max. 3 Belgian Waffles will be on the way, but since it's an afternoon breakfast order, it'll take some time. But luckily for me, I'll be on break after your orders are done." She winked at me. She walked behind the counter to get started on our orders.

"Joyce still looks tired, but I think seeing us brightened up her day a bit." Kate pointed out, looking at her. "I'm glad."

"I know, me too. I don't know the feeling of losing someone like that, but, I know it must suck." Warren added.

"It doesn't just suck, Warren. It's an unbearable pain that even someone who experienced it can't explain in words."

"God Bless her. She doesn't deserve anymore suffering." Kate said, looking out the window.

"She needs a vacation. I don't know how, but someone's got to get her and David out of Arcadia Bay for a week or so. They deserve that much." I put my head down on the table to think for a second. "Well, my parents have good income, so maybe I could get them to get Joyce and David somewhere nice. They've been friends with Joyce for the longest."

"Your parents?", Kate asked.

"What?"

"It's just you've never brought up your parents to us before. It kinda caught us off guard." Warren explained.

"Heh, sorry, it's just that the opportunity to talk about them never came up. Until now, I guess."

"So, what are they like?" He asked. It was probably the easiest thing I had to answer in a while.

"Well, my mom is very clingy. Kinda like how all moms are. She just wants me to keep in touch, since we're in different states, though we're just 3 hours away by car. She's happy as long as I stay in line with the law and I don't blow all of our money on stupid things. She's pretty chill compared to my dad.

Kate giggled a bit. "That sounds a lot like my dad."

"As for my dad, well, he's a sports maniac. I'm very close to him and he gives me a bit of freedom and knows I'm ok on my own but he also loves to remind me of my responsibilities as an adult and doesn't hesitate to point out my mistakes. He's like my mom when it comes to worrying about me though, except he seems a bit scarier about it, especially over texts. He's more relaxed and lets me learn on my own, but he can become "BatDad" in a hurry, if you catch my drift."

"They sound cool! I'd love to meet them!" Warren said excitingly.

"I would too! They definitely sound fun." Honestly, I didn't explain enough about them for Kate and Warren to think that they're "cool" or "fun", but I guess its fine. But I did remember that I wanted to invite them with me. Today was Friday and my parents were coming for me on Saturday morning. If I was going to invite them, now would be the best option, especially since they said they'd love to meet them.

"Well, um, maybe you guys can." I wasn't exactly tripping over my words. But they were hard to find, and you'd think things like this would be easy to do after everything else I've been through.

"What do you mean? They're coming to Arcadia Bay?" Kate asked.

"Well, yeah, but only to pick me up. See, tomorrow I'm going over to Seattle for the Winter Break and I'll be coming back the night of New Years...do you guys want to come? My parents have always been asking to meet my friends, so I thought this would be the best time."

"Wow, really Max? I'd love to go, but I don't think I can. Well, I don't know." Kate said. "Thing is, me and my family always get together with other members of my family for Christmas. It's a big deal to them. I can ask if I could go with you, but chances of a 'yes' are slim."

"Oh, ok. Whatever happens is fine anyway." I was a bit bummed out, but that was pretty much the response I anticipated.

"Don't look so sad, Max. My dad would love for me to enjoy one Christmas with a friend, so the chances of me going aren't that slim, plus they've seen a little bit of you after the Blackwell scandals so it shouldn't be too hard.

"Well, try your best. I hope it all works out. What about you, Warren."

"You know I'm going!" Warren's enthusiasm is always noteworthy, and of course that would be his response.

"Ask your parents before you say something like that. I don't want to be disappointed if you don't end up coming." I said to him smiling.

"Alright, but chances are they'll say I can go anyway. I've been acing my exams lately and I know they'd want me out of their hair for a week or so so they can do whatever married couples do. So expect me tomorrow bright and early!" That was pretty funny but still so wrong the way he said it. But I'll leave that alone. I got what I needed to say out of the way, so now, all I had to do was wait for results. Whatever happens, happens.

Soon after, Joyce came with our brunch and the 3 of us started eating. It was just more idle talk afterwards and it was a fun time. For the first time in a while, I really enjoyed myself, and I was able to take my mind off of things for a while. We all got back on the bus and Kate made sure I sat next to Warren on the way back. He was talking and I was hearing him, but I wasn't exactly listening. My eyes were on the lighthouse. That was an image that would always stay burned in my mind. Even after all of those events, it always feels so mysterious., as if I'm being watched by it.

"Ax..." My eyes were just piercing the lighthouse. "Max!" I heard my name and jumped back to reality. It seemed like Warren had been calling out to me for a while, but I just couldn't come back to reality for some reason.

"You ok? I'm not boring you am I?" He asked. I felt back for not listening and I really didn't want him to think that.

"No, no it's not that. It's just that lighthouse...it's always so...strange. Don't you feel like that sometimes?" Warren glanced over at the lighthouse in the distance.

"Kinda. I've been all over Arcadia Bay, but I've never been up by the lighthouse before. I don't know why, honestly. I guess I just never had any reason to."

"I used to go there all the time with Chloe. I guess I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic right now." I leaned back on the seat and turned to the window. I felt Warren's hand on my shoulder, silently comforting me. As I said, he and Kate have been precious the entire time. The bus stopped by the school and the 3 of us got off. We walked and came to the "crossroads" of the campus from the boy's dorms and the girl's dorms. Kate and I separated from Warren there. We started to walk back to our dorms, just talking.

"So, how was your time with Warren?" Kate asked while I sighed.

"It was nice...It kinda went how I expected it to go actually."

"How so?"

"Well...it didn't feel forced. I guess that's why I like being around Warren a lot. When we talk, it can get weird or nerdy, but that's the best thing about it. It feels pure." I didn't notice, but I was definitely smiling. I heard Kate giggling.

"Sounds like he's growing on you."

"It's not like I hated him before. It's just I never actually saw us as a 'thing'. It actually used to creep me out a bit when I thought of us like that."

"What changed your mind about him?"

"That's hard to say...I honestly don't know, it all felt so fast..."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh...uh, nothing, heh."

"Max, sometimes you are really weird." Kate smiled and looked at me. "But I guess that what makes you Max Caulfield." We stopped at her dorm and said our byes.

"See what you can do about tomorrow Kate. You can come and check in with me at any time, or just text me the updates."

"I'm on top of it. See you later, Max." After saying bye, I went back to my dorm. Time seemed to fly by quickly, because before I knew it, it was night time and I was just about ready to sleep. I looked at the pictures I had gotten from Joyce of Chloe. Pictures that I stuck to the wall on the opposite side of my bed.

"Good Night, Chloe..." I whispered. The corner of my eye, I saw a bright blue "light". I turned to it and it was the same blue butterfly, flapping it's wings on the other side of my window. I went up to it, opened the window and the butterfly flew in and rested on one of the pictures of Chloe I had on the wall. This butterfly was starting to worry me. I've seen it on so many occasions and if I didn't know any better I'd say this butterfly was following me. I reached my hand out to touch it, and I would have expected it to fly from my hand, but instead it flew to me and landed right on my index finger.

But just like that my head started to hurt horribly. It hurt so bad I felt like I could pass out at any moment. I felt my nose starting to bleed and I stumbled back and fell to the floor, grabbing my head, crying out in pain. Noise began to flood my ears and I saw a lighthouse, but it didn't look like the one I'm familiar with.

The area looked like Seattle and there was a big terrible storm with a girl I wasn't familiar with standing next to me, holding her hand out, as if she was using a rewind power. Then the visions shifted to another area I wasn't familiar with that also had a lighthouse with another storm. Different scenes started to flood my mind so quickly I wasn't able to comprehend a thing, and the endless noise was just screams and voices going at a high speed as if you put a video on fast forward. Then, it all just stopped, and I opened my eyes and my head stopped hurting, almost instantly.

The damage was done though, because I still couldn't get up. I started wheezing and I wiped my nose from the blood. I looked up, but the butterfly was gone. Still feeling weak in my legs, I used my arms to rise up and sat down on the bed. I put my elbows on my knees and held my head, still breathing hard and my heart was racing.

"What...what the fuck?" That was all I could say, and just saying that made me tired. I don't know what the fuck that was all about, but I haven't felt that intense in a while. Just what kind of bad shit is about to come my way now?

* * *

 **This is my longest chapter so far, albeit only my third one and ironically, this is the quickest chapter release thus far as well. Personally, this was my favorite chapter to work on so far so that had something to do with the quick release. As you can see, a lot more dialogue in this one and I only pray I'm staying as true as possible to everyone's character. Tell me what you think about the chapter guys. This was a long chapter to revise, so forgive me if there were any obvious mistakes I overlooked.**


	4. Mutual Suffering

**Life Gets Crazy  
**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Episode 4: Mutual Suffering**

* * *

My heart was still racing and I sat down on my bed, visibly trembling. That might have been the strongest vision I've ever received. Sweat dropped from my face to the floor and I did nothing but sit there and watch it. It was already 3 AM and I didn't even move from the spot I was in. My phone had been lit up a few hours prior, but I didn't even bother to look at it. I suspected it was Kate texting me the update on my invitation.

I wiped my face with my hands, but my palms were already sweaty, so it wasn't like I was getting anywhere. For a while I even felt a bit nauseous. I tried recollecting all the details I could from those visions. "A lighthouse...a girl with black long hair and hazel eyes...storms in Seattle...and other storms in other places I don't know," I said under my breath.

Soon, my vision got a bit blurry so I closed them for a few seconds. The timing couldn't have been worse for this bullshit to start happening again. It was obvious that I wasn't going to be able to sleep so I got dressed as soon as I felt able enough. The cold air was very uncomfortable, and just as I was ready to set out, I looked out the window. It was snowing, but it was already starting to stick a bit. It made me wonder just how long I was out of it mentally.

I finally got a chance to look at my phone. I got a message from Kate, and a few messages from Warren, as usual.

 _Max! Good news! I get to come with you tomorrow to Seattle! The only catch is my parents want to meet you and your parents. The only thing to do now is to see to it that Warren comes along. We have a lot of date planning to do for you two! - 9:46PM_

Kate's message made me smile despite everything and it sounds like her mom isn't giving her a hard time either. I looked over at the chain of messages that Warren sent me.

 _Yo, Max! I told you I'd come with you! - 7:34PM_

 _I've never been to Seattle, but I've seen tons of pictures! 7:36PM_

 _Speaking of pictures, make sure to take a lot! I want to remember everything! - 7:37PM_

 _Max, you there? I can't seem to sleep. I guess I'm too excited about tomorrow. Don't ignore this message if you're awake. - 12:02AM_

Classic Warren. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel his excitement, but that was before everything that just happened. Right now, I just feel anxious. I had to take a walk. I put my phone in my pocket and walked out my door. I left my school bag since, obviously there was no reason to bring it. For some reason though, I took my camera. It was just a habit for me. I just felt like I always needed to "take the shot". I had it strapped around me like I would usually have my bag.

It was dark, as usual, so I used my phone as a flashlight. It was so quiet I could hear my every step, which was a bit scary, but I had gotten used to snooping around quiet places. I came out of the dormitories feeling so much colder than inside, as expected. The air was very still. No wind current anywhere, so the snow just fell gently. Every step I took I felt some kind of crunch under my feet, showing that the snow had already been sticking quite a lot.

With the night sky, the Blackwell post lights and the falling snow, it definitely felt tranquil. For the first time since I came to this school, it felt peaceful. Cold, but peaceful. But whatever feelings I had boggling my mind right now were anything but peaceful. I felt anxious, paranoid, scared, and any emotion that comes in between. I began walking around campus. Surprisingly, there was no security anywhere and I especially haven't seen David anywhere. Walking off campus felt almost too easy.

Arcadia Bay was asleep. Not a single car on the road and nearly all the stores on the block were closed. I had my hands in my jacket pockets and I looked down at my feet with each step I took. I pulled up my black scarf passed my nose for warmth and comfort. Sadly, it's the only comfort I can get right now. I found myself walking and walking until I found a bench to sit down, though it was covered in snow. I brushed it off and sat down. My head and body felt good enough to start thinking about the visions I had, as much as I wanted to stay away from them.

I took out my phone and went on Google. Everything was happening so fast I forgot that I could check google for updates. I typed in Seattle but everything was fine. Just snowy, as usual around this time of year. _If I was glad about one thing, it's that the storm wasn't in affect right now. But first off, why am I having visions of a storm in Seattle? Let alone other places I don't know...I resolved this with Chloe, I know it_. Doubt started to fill my mind. All I could think about was what if Chloe's sacrifice was in vain. The very thought I wanted to stay away from.

I looked at Chloe's spike bracelet that I wore on my wrist. I haven't taken it off since. "Chloe...if there was ever a time when I needed you to be here with me..." I struggled to finish the sentence. I could feel myself choking up and my breathing got heavier and my sight got blurry from the tears beginning to well up. Chloe is dead. She's not here with me anymore. I've never felt so powerless and isolated from everyone else in my life.

I wore a lot of clothes, but it got colder. I hugged myself to try to get warm, but it didn't work. There wasn't a sound anywhere. I started to regret coming outside at this time, but I just didn't know what to do. I closed my eyes and let out some air. "Someone..." At this point...anyone.

"Max?" I heard my name and opened my eyes. I turned to my left and I saw someone I least expected under the post light.

"Vic...toria?" My eyes were already pretty wet, so I dried them to the best of my ability, trying to make sure she didn't see me cry. Though I'm pretty sure she already knew. She walked up to me, talking like she usually does.

"Of all the people I expected to see out here like this, you are the absolute last. Then again, you're weird, so this might be a regular thing for you."

"Hi, to you too, Victoria." I couldn't exactly put up with her prissy attitude right now and I was fully prepared to get her away from me, but I held my tongue. Plus she wasn't totally wrong. It's not every night you see Max Caulfield, crying her eyes out on a bench all alone under the snow.

"So what are you doing here anyway?" She asked in her usual tone.

"I couldn't sleep. I needed some fresh air."

"So you chose to come all the way out here?"

"I could say the same for you. What are you doing out here?" Victoria looked a bit disinterested, but she came to sit beside me.

"Well, our reasons align I guess. I couldn't sleep myself. And at this point, no one wants to stay at Blackwell to start feeling better about themselves."

"For once, you and I agree." Talking to Victoria again felt so weird. And what's even weirder is that she's out here for a similar reason. I wanted to ask her something, but I didn't want to come off as weirder than I already was to her.

"Max?"

"What is it?"

"I'm going to ask you something, though it might sound weird."

"Ok...I'm listening."

"If you felt like you were helping your friend, only to find out that all of your efforts went to shit, how would you feel?" I wanted to ask her the same thing, honestly.

"It's funny."

"What?"

"I wanted to ask you the same thing."

"Well, I guess the answer would be the same for both of us then."

"Like shit." We said together. It wasn't really the time for laughs, but it was a bit funny. We both chuckled a bit. I was a bit more comfortable since I was here with someone with the same mindset. And I could see her starting to loosen up as well. She was so tense earlier.

"So, what's making _you_ ask that question?" She didn't speak for a few seconds.

"Well, I never told anyone this, not anyone in the Vortex Club and not even Taylor. Can you keep a secret Max?"

"I can try."

"Yeah, that makes me feel _a lot_ better." The sarcasm in her voice was so merciless it hurt.

"Ok, I'll take it to the grave. I promise."

"Alright..." Victoria leaned back on the bench. "It's about Nathan..."

"What _about_ Nathan?"

Victoria sighed and said, "Look, I know you guys didn't have the best 'relationship'...actually, I know you must hate him right now...but..." I could tell this was a difficult topic for Victoria. Out of all the Vortex Club members, they were the closest. That alone was true. "Listen Max, for as long as I've known him, Nathan was never exactly a 'stable' person."

"That was obvious."

"Yeah, but there's more to it than that. You might think you know Nathan, but you don't know shit!" She kinda snapped on me, so I wanted to defuse it before it escalated.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as inconsiderate." She's been around Nathan longer than I have, so of course she knows more than I do, even _if_ I snooped around in his dorm.

"Yeah, me too. I just hate when people talk like they understand him." I just stayed quiet. I wanted to hear this, for her but especially for myself. Maybe there was something I could take from it. "Nathan and I were close. Very close. Not at the beginning though, he was kind of distant and if you thought he was a dick before, you definitely knew nothing about him in Freshman year."

"He was actually _worse_?"

"It took him a while to open up, but yeah. He just kind of lashed at everyone in the Vortex Club, even though he was already the key member because of the Prescott funding."

"Sounds almost like someone I knew...and I hate drawing that comparison honestly."

"You always heard him boast about his Prescott name, but it's not like he loved the attention he got. He hates his father, his father treats him like shit, and everything about the Prescott name is just business, business and more business. It's so fucking stupid..." I already knew his sister was the kind one among them, but I couldn't really let Victoria know that. I just asked the question to see if she knew.

"There had to be someone who cared about him though..."

"His sister was and still is the only one, but there's only so much love she can send in an email. She's like on the other side of the world. What Nathan needed was direct love and that was something no one could give him, for whatever reason I don't know..."

"That's why you 2 were so close?"

"I _listened_ to Nathan. That was the _bare minimum_ that anyone could have done. All he needed was an ear. And for the longest time, I thought that was enough." Victoria held her head. "I thought I was helping him, but I just felt like I lost control when his meltdowns got crazier and crazier."

"You can't blame yourself for that...there were things that he obviously wasn't telling you."

"But what _could_ I have done if he _did_ tell me? Am I supposed to keep it a secret that he accidentally killed Rachel by overdose? As a part of Mr. Jefferson's sick fetish?"

"Like I said, you can't blame yourself. Jefferson brainwashed him and no one suspected him. Nathan couldn't tell you because he knew how you would feel."

"I wish I could believe it wasn't my fault. Max, your best friend was killed because I couldn't do anything. More like I _didn't_ do anything. I hurt you and by extension, everyone close to you." I looked down to the ground. I couldn't say anything. It was Chloe's decision to die...to die for me, Victoria and everyone else.

I've saved her...so many times...I've brought her back to me...so many times. There was a moment where I was actually going to let the Bay be destroyed...just so I wouldn't have to go through the stress of saving her again. _Chloe_ made the ultimate sacrifice, _I_ assisted her...Victoria shouldn't have to blame herself for anything...The more she does...the sadder I become because I _still_ don't feel like I've changed anything. I stopped a tornado, but I'm having visions of more and so many people are still suffering...

Why was this power given to me if I'm not supposed to change anything? "There's always a possibility..." The words that came out were the thoughts that have echoed in my mind for months...

"Huh?"

"I was too afraid to stop anyone...Not Chloe, nor Nathan..." I thought of the first time entering the bathroom, before this whole rewind power bullshit. If I had stopped Nathan in "real time"...there wouldn't have been a tornado...Chloe was "destined" to die because I was too scared to do anything before she was shot the first time...then I used rewind and saved her...If I saved her the first time...none of this would be happening...

"If I stepped up...Chloe would still be here...and Nathan would probably be getting the help he needed...Instead I hid behind a fucking wall. You didn't see this coming, Victoria...I _saw it happening_...there's a distinct difference..."

Victoria had tears in her eyes already, but she was already crying for a while. I didn't want her to hate herself more than she already did. "I heard the terror in Chloe's voice..." My voice started to shake...and I could feel myself starting to break down, but she needed to know. "I saw the aggression in Nathan's eyes...I heard the gunshot, I saw Chloe dead, I saw the blood leaking from her body, I saw Nathan instantly regret everything after his fit of rage...I sat behind a wall, unable to do anything and I KNOW I could have done SOMETHING, I..." I didn't finish my sentence..

I hate myself... I just kept saying it in my head. "Sorry Max...I'm going back to my dorm now..." It was obvious she felt my guilt. And our pain just made us even more miserable. I didn't blame her for not wanting to be around me. I often heard that those who share the same pain could find comfort in each other's company...whoever said that lied...at least in this specific case.

"Alright..." She started walking, but I heard her stop.

"Max?" I looked up.

"...Thank you for listening..." I saw her give me a genuine smile. I wish I could've done the same.

"Anytime, Victoria." I forced a smile. I heard her walking away and I just looked at the ground until I couldn't hear her footsteps anymore...I didn't know what to think about anymore.

I thought I would get some kind of closure from the fact that I wasn't the only one feeling some type of way, but instead, I ended up feeling worse because it all comes back to me. I sighed and looked up at the black sky, feeling hopeless. "Chloe...was _this_ the pain you felt after William died...?"

As I said that, I saw something move passed the corner of my eye. I saw the doe that had been guiding me, looking at me from afar. I was tired both physically and mentally. I had no will to walk up to it, let alone follow it anywhere. I just stared at it with no expression as if I were a corpse with it's eyes open. "Fuck it." I lifted my sorry ass up to follow the doe. "After everything else, this had better be something positive..." It was scary because I knew what was happening to me. I could feel myself getting more and more bitter.


	5. Transcendence Part 1

**QUICK UPDATE FOR THOSE THAT DO NOT KNOW: I am also posting this story over on Wattpad I find it better over there, the link to the website is on my profile. There I can use some pictures and music to set the tone for these chapters, so it just feels better to me. So, before you read this chapter here, I would suggest going over to Wattpad and reading it there. Music sets the tone for everything :D**

 **Life Gets Crazy**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Episode 5: Transcendence Part 1**

* * *

I walked to the doe but I refused to touch it. I had my reasons and obviously I didn't want to go through another intense episode like the one hours before. I felt like it already understood me and my grief. The doe walked on it's fours at a steady but natural pace to where it didn't feel like I had to keep up or slow down for it. "Where are you taking me?" I asked the doe like a dumbass.

As if the doe would stop to take the time to explain our destination to me. Honestly though, it doesn't feel that far from reality, considering the ability to rewind time, predict misfortune, etc etc. The more I live this life, the less I seem to know what words like "reality", "supernatural", and "natural" are supposed to mean. The animal had been guiding me for a few minutes but I still didn't know where we were.

Night time in Arcadia Bay is the equivalent to being a tourist across the world without a map. The doe took me to the forest. There were zero leaves on the trees as expected and it was pretty much a white forest now since the snow started to fall more in bigger chunks than smaller flakes. "Seriously, where are we going? I'm not too familiar with this part of Arcadia Bay."

We walked for about 5 more minutes until we hit this wide area within the forest. It was the Arcadia Bay Park. It's been so long, I actually forgot that this was here, and nobody even bothers to talk about it. Childhood memories began to come back to me. Memories that were long forgotten. I looked around me but the doe had disappeared. I sighed, seeing the cold air come from my mouth.

I walked around for a while, thinking back on the things I used to do here with Chloe, especially at times like these where the snow covered the area. You'd think we were boys with the type of hyperactive fun we had in the snow. Our parents always telling us to be careful...then we'd just go back to doing even more hyperactive stunts that eventually led to a timeout before we ended up hurting ourselves.

I rubbed my glove covered hand on a tree bark. Snow was steadily sticking to it, but I rubbed a good portion off. It's always been a habit of Chloe and I to leave our mark on the world, literally. There was a carving on the bark that I wanted to uncover. It was weathered down a bit, but it was still readable. "Chloe and Max...Pirates of the Bay..." I read it somberly. I smiled, but it felt more mournful than cheerful. There were so many things here that reminded me of her.

Again, for about the 4th time today, I saw the blue butterfly from the corner of my eye, but it seemed brighter, as if it were a firefly in the night. This time, it wasn't flying toward me. I hesitated for a second to go to it, but after that second, I found myself steadily walking and then I started running toward it. I cut the corner where another tree was, but I had already lost sight of it.

I looked all around but I saw nothing. It was obvious to me at this point that these were spirit animals. What I didn't understand was what they wanted to tell me. Everything was all over the place. I got visions about more catastrophe, followed by a doe leading me to this area, only to see the blue butterfly again who seems to be playing with me now. It's obvious they're trying to tell me something, but I don't see the connection at all. I sat down by a tree and brought my knees close to my chest, curled up on the cold grass.

I felt my phone vibrate so I took it out. Victoria texted me for the first time in a while.

 _Seriously Max, Thanx for tonight. You didn't do anything much, but you lent me an ear when I needed one. Um...we should do this more often. 1:43 AM_

I was happy I did something for her at the very least. I responded to her. _Anytime Victoria. You're right. Maybe we can talk over some tea sometime soon. I have to go right now, but maybe we can talk later? - 1:44_

I pressed send and held the phone close to me, looking around. A short minute later, she responded. _That sounds...good. Au Revoir - 1:45_ Clearly she wasn't used to talking to me, since I'm pretty much the farthest thing I could be from her comfort zone. I actually half expected her to text me saying, "Thanx, but we're still not friends!" But I'm glad I was wrong.

I held out my hands and watched the snow fall to my gloves. The snow stayed there, collecting in my palms, unable to melt away. I didn't know what I was doing anymore and I sure as hell didn't know what I was doing it for. I was just doing something to pass the time by. I stared blankly at the snow beginning to pile up in my palms, and then clapped my hands together, watching the snow fly.

I looked up to the sky to see the waning gibbous moon behind some thin clouds, framed beautifully by the tall trees. I took my camera and focused into the perfect position for the photo op. I took the picture but the blue butterfly came right into the view of the moon. It wasn't my intention to capture it along with the moon, but something about it made it even more beautiful.

I pulled the camera from my face to see the butterfly flapping in front of me. I started to giggle. It was a bit funnier than it should've been. When I look back, Chloe always, _always_ wanted to be in the shot. I smiled and I could feel another wave of tears coming, because I knew what I was seeing in front of me. Something I kinda always knew, even at her funeral. Chloe was right here, and she was _truly_ "shining bright like a diamond".

"Photo hog..." I responded to her 'photo-bombing' action. The butterfly landed on my shoulder. I could feel her smiling for the camera. I pulled it up in front of us and snapped the picture. She began to flap her wings again. This time, she hovered in front of me. The feeling was different this time. I knew what she wanted to do. That was the beautiful thing between Chloe and I. We knew what we wanted from each other. We didn't need words to express ourselves. I closed my eyes and she landed gently on my forehead.

Everything turned white. I felt whole for the first time in a while. I felt so at peace that I wouldn't even have a problem dying where I sat. I fell asleep, but I saw the world through a different perspective, literally. I was looking at the world through her eyes, hearing her thoughts. I saw her life. I _heard_ her life. I _felt_ her life. I listened...

 _To Be Continued..._

* * *

 **This is part 1 of however many parts is going into this because this chapter turned out to be painstakingly long. (Over 4,000 words, which is WAY past my limit) Also, this MIGHT be the last chapter I post here, because I find more convenience in Wattpad than this site. I'll stay updated though.**


	6. Transcendence Part 2

**Okay, so I know I haven't posted a chapter here for a while, but that's because I've been doing all the posting on Wattpad on my account Suiichirou, cause I had more creative freedom there. But it's different now. I'm gonna switch back again. For some reason I feel like I'll get more done if I'm here on FF. So I'm gonna post all the chapters I finished on Wattpad here and then continue the story, which I have not done since about March. Luckily I wrote down and saved a copy of where I want to go with the story on Notepad, so I just need to refresh my memory on a few things. But without further ado, let's go wild! :D**

* * *

 **Life Gets Crazy**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Chapter 6: Transcendence Part 2**

* * *

 _Max was my best friend. Even now, there could never be anyone better. In my world, filled with hella highs and lows, this angel was there for me._

 _At my highest of highs to praise me and my lowest of lows to comfort me. I think that's what a best friend is. I remember being here in this park, having endless fun with her._

 _The snowball fights we had with just the 2 of us would be so epic. Hahaha, you couldn't have that much fun with a group of kids!_

 _I_ _remember hitting her with a snowball so hard to the face she fell back. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the day! Hahaha!_

 _The time we dressed up as pirates with our plastic swords...there wasn't a soul on the earth that could take those swords away from us. Not my parents, nor hers. We poked our folks in the legs with them any chance we got._

 _We drove them crazy and we loved every minute of it. I think that's what a best friend is..._

 _Haha, how about the time we got in trouble tasting my parents' wine. We spilled it allllll over the carpets. Mom was probably the angriest I've ever seen her, and you know she's angry when she gets mad at Max._

 _Haha, Max was like the 'angel she never had' but not that day. Dad tried to give us a time out but Mom wanted us to scrub until our arms fell off and boy did they fall the hell off! Still, just being there with her was the most fun I could've ever had._

 _We just got done taking a picture together from my Dad's camera and me and Dad went straight to making eggs. Mom called to get help with the groceries._

 _It was just supposed to be a quick pick up. That was all it was supposed to be. He said he was never going to leave me._

 _We got a call about 10 minutes later and Mom couldn't even get a word out, she was crying so hard. I told Mom to relax...that Dad would be there any minute to help her with the groceries I thought she had been whining over._

 _Dad died in a car accident..._

 _It was just me and Max in the house, alone, I held the phone, frozen in place. What was supposed to be my immediate reaction? What was I supposed to do?_

 _To be honest, I don't even remember my thoughts at that point in time. I don't even remember if I was able to process anything. Soon after, my emotions got crazy._

 _At my lowest point, Max was still right there, feeling just as horrible as I did. That's what a best friend is..._

 _But then, she had to move to Seattle. I know it wasn't her decision, but I was left to mourn endlessly. Joyce was already on the road to moving on with her life, but I never understood how she could. Dad wasn't with us anymore._

 _How is anyone supposed to fully recover? I had it in my mind that Joyce didn't love him anymore, that's why she was able to move on while I felt like the only one still trying to hold on to his memory._

 _It wasn't too long after that til David came into our family. I was so hella, fuckin' pissed at everything and everyone. Where was Max? Dad was dead, Joyce moved on, a stranger was in our house and there I was, isolated from the world._

 _How could Joyce just replace the love of her life like that, after SHE was the one who drove him to death...what happened to those days where I could live a care free, fun life with my best friend? Where was my best friend?_

 _Not a call nor a text for the longest time. And the days just kept passing by and I felt myself getting sadder and sadder. I wasn't able to do anything with myself._

 _Prepared to run away from home without a destination in mind. Going through life with not a soul understanding my grief. Not even my own "mother", who passed off my tantrums and outbursts as "phases" in my life._

 _I've never felt so neglected. Where was my best friend, where was my father, where was my mother in all of this? People who I thought would be there just up and left me all alone._

 _I've never even told Joyce this, but there was one night where I sat on my bed. Joyce and David were asleep. I held a blade in my hand and I couldn't stop looking at it._

 _I thought I was prepared to do what I thought I had to do but, the air got so thin. It was hard to breathe and I started crying. Crying harder than Dad's funeral._

 _There was something about contemplating suicide that felt so shocking and scary to me. I never thought I would have to be pushed to that point. I cried and cried but I covered my mouth to muffle my whining._

 _Just one of the many times I cried silently. It wasn't like people wanted to hear my cries anyway..._

 _All of a sudden, Rachel Amber fell into my life as if she were a baby carried by a stork. Her smile gave me comfort that I haven't felt in so long._

 _A comfort that people obviously couldn't give a fuck about. The 2 of us quickly bonded and we took over Blackwell Academy together, just the 2 of us. Rachel could talk to anybody and everybody._

 _She brought light to people's days and I just HAD to believe that she was an angel. I had to believe she was my angel...how else could an 18 year old girl light up a crappy school so beautifully?_

 _How else could an 18 year old girl make someone like me want to get up early every morning to raise hell for as long as possible...how can an 18 year old girl make me want to live such a fucked up life?_

 _How can someone make hell of all things seem like a blessing? That HAS to be what an angel is...We were going to leave all of Arcadia Bay behind together. That was the plan._

 _She was my first love...she saved me from what I thought would be my final days. But just as we looked to the future, she disappeared from my life as well. I prayed and prayed and prayed that it was just some errands that she had to run._

 _I tried to put it in my head that she had something she needed to take care of. But then days became weeks and then weeks became months. I needed to find her. Max was gone, Dad was gone and Joyce was so busy with David, giving me the "time" I needed to move on._

 _I needed to find the only thing that kept me alive. I put posters everywhere. Hoping for something to come up. Time passed by and I lived my life in the hope that she would return to me._

 _And when she did, I would already have everything we needed to live on. And that came at a price...getting anything I could from drug dealers, trying to get money off of a crazy rich boy, only for me to be humiliated and fucked up on the floor in a fetal position... then being held at gunpoint by the same maniac._

 _I made my life so much harder than it already was. She was going to come back to me, I just had to bear the pain._

 _And just like that I saw my best friend again...but the feelings I had were all over the place. I wanted to be happy. I truly did, but I couldn't exactly bring myself to be happy. At least not right away._

 _Like the rest of the world, I forcibly turned her into my scapegoat, putting all my troubles and sins on her and everyone else. I just kept bitching at her and she definitely had at least part of the blame._

 _She didn't understand the pain I went through...she didn't understand that some things could have been avoided if I just got a call or a text from her...I probably wouldn't have felt the need to...end my own life had she just given me her support._

 _But then I found out that Max had this uber cool ability to rewind time! At first, I obviously didn't believe her, but she made me truly believe we could find Rachel...not to mention she saved my life..._

 _Max was quickly introduced to my world after 5 years of change. I didn't want her getting involved with people like Frank, the drug dealer, but some things are just unavoidable._

 _After seeing Rachel's bracelet on Frank's wrist, I nearly lost it. I was fully prepared to do the worst, to be honest. I didn't notice it right away, but Max was changing, right before my eyes._

 _She pulled the gun I had on Frank, though she wussed out and didn't pull the trigger...not really like I wanted her to, but...I don't know what I wanted honestly._

 _Max went through so much when she came back to me. Everything from crazy things happening in the environment to people she calls friends attempting suicide. I definitely wasn't the only one with problems now, but that didn't stop me from trying to prioritize myself above everyone else and I can't say I'm proud of it...but I've been confused and nothing seemed to be giving me answers. Except for Max..._

 _I never told her this but when I saw her take on these problems I felt envious. I asked myself constantly "Why am I not able to do the thing she can do?" I don't have the power to rewind time, and Max just seemed to be getting stronger with each problem we faced while I felt too scared to confront it, though I never showed it._

 _But I tried looking to her character for answers. I tried to find comfort in the way she handled things, but I just couldn't find it. Every step she took forward I felt like I took 5 steps back._

 _While she ironically ran to the future, I constantly looked to the past. But that's not to say Max didn't have points where she didn't waver herself._

 _She's always guided me, and I could never do anything in return but tell her that I was there to support her. After rescuing Kate, you'd think she'd be so proud of herself for what she did...I mean, who wouldn't? She saved a life with her own power...but she was a mess._

 _I've never seen so much stress in her eyes, it looked as if she wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. She looked so tired, but so pissed at the world for allowing Kate to reach to that point as well...I saw myself in her for that time and for once that week, I felt comfortable._

 _More so than in a while. We went partial skinny dipping in the Blackwell Pool and I talked to her. I had the most comfortable talk to her for the first time since she came back. I tried to comfort her, but since I saw myself in her eyes, I tried to talk to myself too._

 _It was one of the greatest nights of my life to be completely honest. I really felt like I was being pulled back in where Rachel left off. The only thing that stopped it from being the greatest night was that Rachel wasn't there with us...I know she would've loved it._

 _After snooping around that night, we woke up in my house that next morning and for the first time in a while, everything felt peaceful. We laid their, listening to the soft music that played, staring up at the ceiling. I never wanted that moment to end, honestly._

 _Max's clothes smelled like Chlorine so I told her to go into my closet for something and we found Rachel's clothes. Haha, Max even claimed that they didn't have the same styles, but clearly Max didn't have style._

 _Max's biggest problem was the fact that she always second guessed herself. She had all the power in the world to bend reality to her will, but it's like she gets weaker mentally every time she used it. That's just how goddamn humble she was._

 _Then the inevitable happened. Throughout all that snooping in finding out about Rachel's whereabouts, we did end up finding her, but it made me so physically sick...I actually thought I was gonna pass out and I felt really close to that point._

 _She was already dead after some sick bastard's fetish and the smell of her decaying body it...I cried for the world to hear me for the first time and the only one able to hear me was Max. My best friend was there by my side the entire time. When I needed a shoulder, she gave it to me._

 _When I needed someone to cry with me, she did that...I was so...so far gone. I threw caution to the wind. I wanted revenge. The easiest thing to do was to go to the police...we had ALL the proof in_ _the world._

 _But it wasn't enough to just get the bastard arrested. I wanted to see him suffer. I held the gun prepared to kill. That night the gun was especially cold in my hand. I told Max to do the unthinkable, and I could tell she was scared for me...but she was there, regardless._

 _I don't even think she thought about HER future...she cared enough for the both of us, but she knew there was nothing she could say to stop me. If I was going to put my life through hell after killing Nathan, she would be right there alongside me, facing hell like we always did._

 _But then she came to me with a hug after taking a picture with her boo. I was so angry at everything, but her hug caught me off guard. I was so confused._

 _For the first time that week, she stood her ground and told me to stop. She looked desperate. She looked ready to drag me by my hair if I refused to go with her._

 _She started crying. She told me Jefferson killed me and put her through hell...I..._

 _It got hard to breathe. I never wanted Max to go through any of what Rachel or Kate went through._

 _She must've been so scared, but she worked like hell to come back here._ _Through adversity, she fought and fought and fought some more._

 _That's what I've always admired about Max. She thought she was weak. A weak person wouldn't keep trying...that's what I want her to understand. She thinks she alone...she's not, and I want her to understand that._

 _She has Kate there for her. Her smile can brighten anyone's day. She has Warren to turn to. His brains can help her through any obstacle. His awkwardness is pretty cute too._

 _Joyce...I mean, Mom...Mom is a strong woman. She'll pull through eventually. So will my step-father. Victoria is a budding flower, Max just has to find her way to her heart._

 _Her parents are always willing to listen, so they're obviously not out of the conversation... She was always there for me...now, even though it isn't much...Max, these are my words to you. Stop blaming yourself for what happened._

 _I don't know where you got it in your head that my death was your fault. You've always protected me. That time, I wanted to protect you. I chose this, okay? Now, I'm here...kicking it with Dad and Rachel. The only thing that could possibly make this better was if Mom and I guess Step Dad were here too, but it's no where near their time yet._

 _Remember what I told you. I said, "I'm never leaving you." I meant that. The 2 of us saved Arcadia Bay. Now all of us will save the world, together. Haha, that sounds so cheesy._

 _Oh, and Max? If you ever think about giving up again, after everything I just told you, I **will** come back and kick that bony, white ass of yours. I won't allow you to give up on me, nor the world. You didn't do it before and you're not about to start now. That's the type of best friend I'm going to be. The type to get you back on your ass and do everything again if you have to. I believe in you, Max._

Just like that...the white light faded along with her voice. Then all I could "see" was the blackness from my closed eyelids. No tears, no shortage of breath, I didn't even feel cold anymore, nor did I feel alone.

For the first time in 2 months...

I felt...good.


	7. Change

**Life Gets Crazy**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Chapter 7: Change**

* * *

The sun shined bright through my window. Brighter than usual. It was about 10 minutes after 8 and I had just took my shower, getting ready to meet up with Kate and Warren. I felt as calm as could be.

It was strange. I got dressed as if I didn't have those visions last night. Almost as if it were all a bad dream, suddenly cured by an angel. Truthfully, I remember almost nothing from last night. It just felt like one of those nights.

All I could remember was talking to Victoria and wandering around Arcadia Bay. But I felt good. I felt confident, something that I haven't felt since I first used my rewind power. I picked out the clothes I wanted to wear and packed others that I would wear for the coming week.

I took the items I needed and the items that I didn't really need. Over the next few minutes, I had everything I needed and I was dressed, ready for "action".

I looked at myself in the mirror, showing a surprisingly bright smile. You'd think I was receiving a lecture from my favorite role model of all time.

I looked over at my desk, looking at Chloe's bracelet and "bullet" necklace. I walked over and put the bracelet around my wrist and the necklace around my neck.

I felt closer to her. More so now than in a while. Just the thought of her brought me close to remembering a dream I had about her.

I heard her whole life story...I was a big part of it, both positively and negatively. She talked to me, but it was as if I were asleep in her arms. Not totally knocked out to the point where I can't hear her, but not totally aware to the point where I can wake up and interrupt her.

A delicate, peaceful sleep to the point where I could hear and feel out my surroundings. It felt like a "natural stasis", whatever _**that**_ means...but it felt... _higher._ As if I were at the pinnacle of relaxation, again, whatever that means.

I looked down at Lisa the plant. I knew that some students were going to stay here, at Blackwell. I asked Brooke if she could water her for me while I'm gone.

Obviously she was a bit salty when she found out Warren was coming along with me, but hey...why should we risk a potentially good friendship over a boy? As great as Warren is, he's not worth the break-up of a friendship. At least I'd like to think of us as friends.

I heard my door knock.

"Max! It's Kate. Are you ready yet?" I could feel her excitement from the other side of the door.

"I'm coming, gimme a minute." I looked around me and felt every pocket I had just to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything important or anything worth bringing.

I looked at the pictures of Chloe. "Well, I'm gone...for now at least." I told her.

I turned off the lights and opened my door, seeing Kate dressed up for the cold with more than a couple bags of luggage. You'd think she was moving out.

"Kate, y'know...you don't have to bring _everything_ with you, right?"

"I know, but I don't go out with friends very often. Especially spending a week's vacation in another state. I...kinda got carried away." We shared a quick laugh.

"Well then, let's go. Don't wanna keep Warren waiting. Knowing him, he's probably been ready since 5 o'clock this morning." I said while giggling a bit.

"I don't blame him. I see where he's coming from. Speaking of Warren, how are you gonna introduce him, Max?"

"What do you mean?" I obviously knew what she meant at this point. She's quick to get me flustered on the matter.

"You know what I mean."Kate used her elbow to nudge my side as we walked."

"Cut it out." I brushed her elbow off, along with her teasing. "I want all 3 of us to have a good time. Not just me and Warren."

"Just being there with you guys is a good time, Max. You should know that." I opened the door to the dormitories.

The sun shined brightly on the snow, that stuck to about a foot over night. Kate and I were almost blinded by it. Blackwell did a good job of clearing the sidewalks and stuff for the students to walk.

"Blackwell looks so pretty covered with snow." Kate commented.

"Yeah. You'd never think that this place was the epitome of controversy." We continued to walk, admiring the images we had.

"True, Blackwell had it's problems in the past. And now it's under even more heat now. But I think it can make a big comeback."

"How? I don't see it."

"You're so oblivious, Max. It's you."

"Me?"

"Yes. When I look at you, I see a future for Blackwell. A bright future."

"What have I done for Blackwell?"

"Your character and your potential with a camera is what stopped it from sinking deeper into hell and those same things are what's gonna bring Blackwell back up to glory."

I looked down. Her praise felt good, I couldn't lie. But I'm too damn humble to admit it.

"Now you're just exaggerating."

"I couldn't be more serious, Max. You'll see what I mean soon." She said with a smile brighter than the sun. We walked some more and saw Warren posted up by Blackwell entrance.

"Hey Warren." I called out.

"Good Morning, Warren." Kate followed. Warren glanced over at us walking toward him.

"Morning, you two. Did you sleep well?"

"I was too eager. I slept, but it took a while." Kate answered, receiving a polite hug from Warren.

"Yeah...same for me, I guess." I followed, receiving a slightly more affectionate hug from Warren. He backed off a bit and looked at my face.

Eye contact was difficult to initiate.

"You seem different, Max." He still held me a bit, checking my face out.

"I feel different." I really just wanted him to step off me. I could feel my face turning red and at his distance, it wouldn't be hard to notice.

He finally did step off and I looked at the ground by his feet, feeling awkward.

"Yeah, I actually noticed it too. Her face looks...lively. There's more color than before." Kate elaborated.

"I slept late, but it probably had something to do with the nice dream I had." I answered.

"What kind of dream?" Warren asked, of course.

"I don't remember the details. All I know is that I felt...relaxed the entire time. It might come back to me later on."

"Don't count on it. If you didn't remember when you woke up this morning, your chances of remembering now are even slimmer."

I smiled. "Alright, Science Guy." I walked right into that one, but it's always nice to hear Warren's mind hard at work...well..."nice" probably isn't the right word. More like "interesting".

I looked at the time. "My parents should be hear soon now. We were a bit early anyway." I looked over at Kate. "Kate, are your parents still gonna meet us here?"

"That's them coming now, actually." Kate answered as she pointed over to a car coming our way. I saw what obviously looked like her parents and I also saw 2 younger ones. Those must be her sisters.

"Hi, Dad." Kate said hugging him. Her dad smiled and had a nice clean shave. The same dirty blonde hair color as her and wore glasses. He also looked to be quite the tall man, being taller than Warren by about 3 inches.

Her sisters ran up, hugging her. "Hi, you guys." Kate said laughing, stumbling a bit. One a bit taller than the other and more mature looking. Both with long hair.

Her mom walked up to her with a smile, kissed her forehead and embraced her. "Hi, Mom."

I probably had the dumbest looking smile. I could just feel myself smiling from ear to ear. The family lined up so Kate could introduce them. "Max, Warren, these are my parents, Richard and Sarah Marsh." I shook both of their hands then they went straight to Warren to do the same.

Her dad's grip was firm. Too firm for me, in case you didn't know, I don't have the strongest grip in the world. Her mom was so much more delicate. We shook hands as if we were the queens of England, it was so delicate.

"And these are my 2 younger sisters. Kaitlyn and Lynn Marsh."

I don't know why I found their names funny. Well, I actually do. It's just the theme they had going there. "Kate, Kaitlyn, and Lynn." I said out loud.

"Yes, Max, I realize the theme there." She said, giggling.

"And guys, this is Max Caulfield and Warren Graham. 2 of the best friends I could have."

The youngest one, Lynn walked up to Warren. "You're cute!" she told him. I choked. That was too sudden. "Kate, is this your boyfriend?" She asked her. Jesus, I've never seen a girl so embarrassingly direct.

Richard and Sarah composed her as quickly as they could. "Stop it! He's a really good friend of mine." Maybe I'm just a horrible person, but I hope Kate felt the embarrassment when she teases me like that...still though, It makes me wonder where she got that from. Her mom or dad? It didn't really matter.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both now in person." Richard commented. "Kate has told us so many great things about both of you. It's a blessing that our daughter was able to find such kind, dependent, and humble friends." He added with a smile.

"Thank you for everything you've done for our daughter up to this point, Max." Sarah followed. "And of course, you too, Warren."

"You're exaggerating...I didn't do much of anything really." I avoided eye contact with them. "Besides, if anyone has done anything in terms of being there, it would have to be Kate." I walked toward her and put a hand on her shoulder. "After my best friend died, I was lost. And if Kate or Warren weren't there for me, well, I don't like to think about that."

"Ah, yes. I've heard about that incident. A terrible tragedy indeed." Richard stated.

"We sent our condolences through Kate, but we always wanted to meet you face to face and give you our best regards." Sarah followed, looking at Richard then back at me. "But do not mourn her. She is happy where she is. And she is happy to be watching over you."

As she said that, memories of last night came rushing in. Too fast for me to comprehend. I remembered seeing the blue butterfly, but that was about all I could gather from that dream-like experience.

"Max?" Kate called out to me. Apparently I zoned out of reality for a second.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I still think about her sometimes."

"Understandably so. No one should have to lose their best friend the way you did, especially at your young age." Richard commented. "If you ever need anything, we're always available."

"Thank you..." I heard a horn from behind me. The horn sounded in a manner that was familiar to me. I knew then that my parents had arrived. Turning to look at them and the minivan that I loved so much, I couldn't help but smile in excitement. An excitement I haven't felt in so long.

Mom and Dad came out of the car and all I could do was jump into their arms. "Woah! Easy Maxine. I'm glad to see you're so happy to see us, but don't break us down before we even get to Seattle." Mom said.

"You guys don't know _how_ much I _really_ missed you." I started to get a bit teary eyed. Through everything, it was so nice having friends around, but there's a special comfort that comes with being able to see your parents when things get hard. It's the ultimate cure.

"Believe me honey, we know. You're our baby girl." Dad said. Hearing their voices...I know I was kind of neglecting Kate, Warren and the others, but I didn't care right now. They could see their families whenever they wanted. I couldn't.

"Come on, I have to introduce you guys," I said, pulling them along with the stupidest smile in the world. "Mom, Dad, this is Kate Marsh and Warren Graham." Mom and Dad went up to greet Kate and Warren.

Mom shook Kate's hand, delicately. "Max can't stop talking about you whenever we talk. I can definitely see why." Mom's comments easily make Kate a bit embarrassed and I could see her blushing a bit.

Dad gave Warren a firm handshake. Almost as if he were testing him out. "Max has told me so much about you. You have a good head on your shoulders. Treat my daughter right, understand?" His comments had a positive affect on Warren, bit he seemed taken back by it...so was I.

"Annnd those people are Kate's family members. Her parents, Richard and Sarah Marsh, and her younger sisters, Kaitlyn and Lynn Marsh." I desperately pulled them over to her family. Our parents shook hands and started talking among themselves.

Just idle talk about me and Kate, nothing out of the ordinary. Dad mentioned that Kate would be in good hands and then our parents exchanged numbers.

Afterwards, Dad and Warren helped pack our luggage in the trunk. Kate shared her last goodbyes with her family. Just from their demeanor I could tell that Kate has never really been away from them for a long period of time.

I took a good long look at Kate and her mom. I drifted off into idle thoughts of Chloe and Joyce. Then it hit me. "Dad!" I called out to him loudly. It kinda startled him a bit, but he's a big boy.

"What is it, Max?" Dad asked, catching his breath after losing it to my surprising him.

"It's about Joyce."

"What's wrong with Joyce, honey?" Mom asked me.

"Well, the thing is, ever since Chloe passed, she's never really fully recovered. She's working herself into the dirt." I said, showing concern in my voice.

Everyone stopped to listen to me talk as if I were preaching. I never liked being the center of attention and I still don't. But this needed to be said. I almost slapped myself for allowing it to slip my mind.

"Both Joyce and David are using their jobs to take their minds off things, but it's not healthy for them. Joyce looks like the epitome of exhaustion and David just isn't 'David' now."

"She's right." Kate followed.

"We were there at Two Whales just yesterday. Joyce looked so pale." Warren added, showing equal concern.

"I know where you're going with this. You want us to try to get them on a vacation, right?" Dad folded his arms.

"Well, yeah." I hesitated. He almost sounded unwilling. I stood my ground though. If I knew Dad, it's that he had a knack for testing me and my adulthood. "She's always done right by me. She treats me like her own child. I've been there for her, but now I don't think just 'being there' is enough. I want to do right by her and David now. That's the least I can do for everything they've done for me. Everything they've done for us."

I just waited for Dad's response. I was the complete center of attention and I could feel everyone's stares with my peripheral vision. My dad smiled. He came over to me and patted my head.

"I'm proud of you, Max." I smiled, embarrassingly. Mom walked over to him.

"It's not like it's a surprise anyway. Maxine always puts people ahead of herself." Mom said.

"That's for sure." Dad agreed. "We'll stop over at her house before moving on to Seattle. Ok?" Kate, Warren and I smiled and agreed to Dad's idea.

Once again, final goodbyes were exchanged and Kate and Warren got in the car along with my parents. I was getting in, but I looked at Blackwell. The snow covered the school and the sun made it glisten nicely.

Blackwell had been the place of all my grief thus far, but sometimes it's easy to forget that it's not the building itself. It's the people in it. I pulled up my camera to take a picture of the snow-covered school.

"Say 'Cheese' Blackwell..." I took the picture. It looked absolutely beautiful in my opinion.

"Come on, Honey, we don't want to waste too much time." Mom called out.

"Coming!" I answered to her. I turned to enter the car and looked back at Blackwell. I got in the car, sitting next to Warren with Kate on the other side of him. All of us were strapped in. Then, we took off...


	8. Thank You Part 1

**Life Gets Crazy**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Chapter 8: Thank You (1)  
**

* * *

Mom, Dad, Kate, Warren and I all stood in front of Joyce's door, ringing the door bell. We did everything we needed to do before coming here. All we needed to do now was convince Joyce and David to get away for the holidays.

We heard foot steps coming toward the door. Joyce ended up opening it. There was a look of happiness and surprise on her face when she saw us, but it still showed great exhaustion.

"Oh my gosh..." She gasped in awe. She hugged all of us and welcomed us in. "Ryan, Vanessa, it...it's been so long."

"Five whole years. I'm sorry we fell out of touch." Mom said, apologizing sincerely.

"Oh, please, don't even give it a second thought." Everyone made themselves comfortable in the living room for the time being.

"We were actually on our way to Seattle, but we couldn't exactly leave without coming back here now, could we?" Dad explained.

"And thank you for the visit. You both look so good. I guess Seattle has treated you two well?" She asked with curiosity.

"It's definitely different from the Bay, that's for sure." Dad said.

"Oh yes, it is. It's a city after all. Louder, busier, brighter, but the experience has been so fun for us. And it's so beautiful during the winter." Mom explained. "But how are you feeling, Joyce?"

"Well, I'm here. As you know, it hasn't exactly been easy." Joyce eased on with a strained voice. Mom and Dad didn't answer to her statement but they did nod with understanding.

"Where's your husband?" Dad asked her curiously.

"He actually left about ten minutes before you came here. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to meet him." Joyce said, a bit disappointed realizing that they had never met him.

"It's no problem, really." Mom lifted her hand, easing Joyce's mind. "We'll meet him eventually."

Joyce got up. "Anyway, are you guys hungry? Thirsty? If you all are willing to stay for a while, how about breakfast?" It's true that neither me, Kate nor Warren have eaten yet.

"Ryan and I are fine. We ate before we came here." Mom told her.

"How about you three?"

"As if we could resist your delicious offer." I told her with a big smile.

"Good, you'd better not resist." Joyce jokingly said to me.

"I'll help then." I volunteered.

"No, no it's ok honey. I remember when Joyce and I would always cook food for you and Chloe, so you just stay put." Mom said, reminiscing about the past.

"Oh, ok then." We obviously weren't in any actual rush and Mom hadn't had her time to talk to Joyce for a while. Her and Joyce are kinda like how me and Chloe were. Best friends that lost contact, so the soft spot in me wanted to give them that alone time.

I looked over at Kate and Warren and called out to them. "Could you guys follow me upstairs for a bit?" I asked them already at the base of the staircase.

"What's up, Max?" Warren asked.

"Nothing really. I just wanna talk to you guys for a bit, is all..."

"You two should go on. Vanessa and I can handle things, and it'll be a while before breakfast is ready anyway." Joyce aided me.

Kate and Warren didn't look like they opposed at all, but maybe I came off a bit confusing with my sudden need for "private conversation". Kate and Warren followed me upstairs. I looked around and came across Chloe's room.

Honestly, I hadn't been in there since we rescued Arcadia so it was hard to even put my hand on the knob, knowing Chloe wouldn't be in there half-naked, getting high.

I did manage to open her door and everything still looked the same. Nothing changed at all actually. Everything right where I remembered it.

"I'll just assume this is Chloe's room?" Kate asked. I turned part way, seeing them with my peripherals while looking over at the closet.

"Yeah, it is...changed a lot since I was a kid though. A lot cleaner back then...mostly because Joyce always tore her a new one if she didn't clean up...and not really punk rock either, though I suppose she always had a curiosity toward it."

I looked under the bed to see the same box I came across when I first came in here after our reunion. The box that had a picture her and Rachel on it. I took up the picture and looked at it.

Warren and Kate came up close, a bit surprised.

"Woahhh, she knew Rachel Amber?" Warren asked. Both Kate and Warren's heads were pretty much right on top of my shoulders. It was pretty weird and their breath tickled my ears, but that's besides the point.

"They were actually best friends."

"I thought _you_ were her best friend." Warren obliviously pried. I turned my head to him, but our faces were wayyyy to close for me to feel comfortable. It caught me by surprise and I stumbled back, accidentally hitting Kate's head.

"Ah!" Kate squealed cutely.

"Oh, Kate, I'm sorry!" I overreacted to the situation. It wasn't like I headbutted her as if this were a Pokemon battle, but I just... _reacted_...

"Shit, you two ok?" Warren asked, slightly concerned.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, it wasn't anything serious." Kate said, rubbing her forehead. "Max is a bit hardheaded though." She followed up, teasing me.

"Eat me." I sighed, rubbing the back of my head, subconsciously taking a page out of Chloe's book.

"Colorful vocabulary." Kate teased further.

"It's the company I keep." I giggled.

I looked back at the picture for a second. "So, going back to what I asked earlier, what's the story between you three?" Warren said, changing the subject.

I had to choose my words carefully. Sometimes it's hard to remember that in this reality, I never reunited with Chloe, so if I said anything that contradicted the order of this timeline, I would cause some kinda suspicion, whether people think I'm crazy or dreaming, or whatever they'd think of me.

"Well, Chloe and I were best friends in the past...well...still are, even at death. Five years ago, I left for Seattle, leaving Chloe here...she'd just lost her father at the time..."

"Damn, Max." Warren sympathized.

"That's awful." Kate followed.

"During my time away, she met Rachel...I heard Chloe was the one putting up those "missing" posters everywhere."

"That was her?...Well I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering..." Kate said.

"I never met her, but I've been told that we're not that different...I would've liked to meet her, though."

"We all would've..." Kate added, walking up to me.

I sat down on Chloe's bed, contemplating something. I wanted to ask them something, but I didn't want it to sound weird. I just wanted their take on it, though I could pretty much tell what answers I were about to receive.

"Can I ask you two something?"

"Sure, Max" Kate said, smiling down at me.

"Anything." Warren added.

"If you had the ability to rewind time, would you use it? Why or why not?"

"That's a weird question, Max." Kate said. I knew it. It was gonna sound weird regardless, but it's out. Just had to wait for my answers.

"I never really thought about it, to be honest." Warren gave his answer.

"Really, Science Guy? I thought you'd be all about time travel and stuff like that."

"Well, I am, but only in science fiction stories. And from the ones I've seen, nothing good ever comes from it."

"But what if something happened. Something that you really wanted to change?"

"Then I'd probably do it. I don't know. Time travel is a...difficult topic. One that even _I_ don't have complete understanding about."

"I see where you're coming from Max..." Kate stepped in with her response. I looked at her and just waited for her to finish. "When I was going through my...situation, there were times when I wanted to rewind time...I would even take it a step further and say I was willing to take my own life..."

I looked at her with sympathy. The subject was getting a bit "touchy", but I just felt like I needed this for myself.

"If I could rewind time, then at that time, I definitely would have done it, regardless of the consequences. But...I don't think it's right."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, this is just me personally now, but we're given one life...not an infinite amount. We shouldn't waste the gift of just being alive to try to endlessly relieve ourselves of regrets...When we live our lives trying to not have regrets, we end up making some of the biggest mistakes of our lives...and before we know it, our lives are done and we had no time to enjoy ourselves...then we end up regretting that over everything else."

"I see what you mean..." I agreed with her 100%...but somehow, I don't think she'd have that mentality if she actually had the powers.

"Long story short, we're gonna...screw up. We're gonna screw up a million times before we have our own families and a million and one times afterwards. We'd fight a battle that we can't win if we're so focused on trying to prevent the inevitable."

Kate's words resonated with me. I fell in love with that intellect of hers. It wasn't idealistic. It wasn't optimistic. It wasn't even pessimistic. It was just _real_.

It was something that all of us knew. It was one of those morals that we were taught growing up but could never act on it when the time came.

Even so, it was always something that you needed to be reminded of.

I examined Chloe's room a bit more. Not like I was looking for anything...I just wanted to walk around.

I stumbled on a picture of me and her when we were younger. We were wearing our pirate outfits at the time. I had my eye patch and she had on the entire outfit.

Kate and Warren crowded my shoulders again. "Wow, she looks so different." Kate observed.

"Yeah, it's like you're looking at two different people." Warren followed. He chuckled a bit, looking at me when I was younger.

I brought the picture up to my chest, hiding it from Warren and looked his way, stepping off him a bit.

"Don't you dare laugh!" It was on instinct, but I sounded desperate, embarrassed and it almost sounded like I enjoyed the interaction.

"Haha, Sorry Max! It's just you look adorable in that picture. It makes me laugh a bit." Warren and his awkward compliments..."You...should get that hairstyle again too. It fit you then...It sure would fit you now..." He got a bit tentative with that compliment though.

In the picture, my hair wasn't totally different...it was a tiny bit shorter and on my left side there was a band coming down that was twisted up and I wore a hair clip...

Warren and I got quiet. I looked at Kate briefly. She was enjoying the show, but she looked at me as if I should be more assertive. "You really think this hairstyle would look better on me?"

I don't know how or when it came out. But the question just came out and it felt good to release it but at the same time, the weight of the embarrassment was about to break the house.

Warren rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, Max. I wouldn't lie to you." Now the weight of the embarrassment could break the Bay. I kept my hair short and simple for one reason. I didn't want to stand out.

I didn't want to stand out, yet Warren still noticed me. "I'll...give it some thought." If this was going to make this work, it had to be a two-sided thing. I mustered up the courage to say that, but I felt all my strength leave my body afterwards.

After that, all I wanted to do was go back to my dorm and hide under my sheets until I fell asleep. I was crazy embarrassed.

"Sorry to ruin the sweet sweet smell of romance, but all these pictures of Chloe have gotten me curious. What sort of person was her dad? What was he like?" Kate came in asking.

"William?" I asked. "William was...amazing," I told her. There are a million different terms that could describe him and "amazing" felt like the understatement of the year.

Where do I even begin to describe just how much of an impact William was in Chloe's life as well as my own...


	9. Thank You Part 2

**Life Gets Crazy**

 **Part 1: Winter**

 **Chapter 9: Thank You (2)  
**

* * *

I searched for the right place to start with William. He was just someone you couldn't describe with words to be honest. But every time I thought of William, it's like the words are in my head, but I just don't know how to get them out.

"William..." I started. "William was like a second father to me. If my dad were the bad cop, he'd definitely be the good cop trying to act bad. That goes for me _and_ Chloe."

I sat down on Chloe's bed again trying to gather my thoughts on how to present William to Warren and Kate. "I remember I could never have what I wanted with my dad, so I'd try to guilt trip William into getting me what I wanted...heheh then Joyce would find out and give me the same treatment she would give Chloe."

"You're more conniving than I thought, Max." Kate teased.

"Hey we were all troublesome kids at one point, and Chloe wasn't exactly the best influence either," I retaliated. "William was _so_ kind so it was hard to _not_ take advantage of that kindness every now and again."

"I would've loved to meet him," Kate said, loving what she heard. Warren agreed.

"I know he would've loved you guys. Kate, you're so down to earth, but you carry a sense of optimism that I don't even think you realize you have. So kind, even to the people I personally think don't deserve it. That's exactly like William. He would love you, easily..."

All I could think about was the day I visited Kate in the hospital. Everyone was so mean to her but after seeing all those letters on her desk, how easy she was accepting them all in her heart, even Victoria's "bitchiness" at the time...she's one of a kind.

Her scenario could've easily made her a much darker person. Someone who hated life, and I believe she was very close at the time...still makes me feel uneasy, as if the air gets thinner.

Kate blushed a bit after how I described her though. She wasn't expecting that kind of thing and frankly, I don't know where it came from, but there was no point on getting off the train...or...however that saying goes...if it's a saying at all, whatever, I don't know.

"And Warren. You always find a reason to smile, have fun and do the right things. You have this instinctive confidence about you...I can't put my finger on it, but when I look at you, I see someone who will always be helpful in _any_ situation... _ **any**_. William would love that."

All I could think about were the times Warren risked his ass for me. That time in the parking lot, as dangerous as Nathan was at the time, who probably still had his gun and everything...and then in the boy's dorm he kicked the gun right out of Nathan's hand and "went ape" all over his face...

He could've been seriously hurt or worse...It's...it's not something I encourage him to do...in fact, I would advise him to not do anything that reckless again in the future if I could, but knowing him, he probably wouldn't listen, especially if my livelihood were at stake.

I feel a sense of security when he's around, as goofy as he is...

Warren scratched the back of his head, feeling the same way as Kate I'd imagine. "Thanks Max...it means a lot to hear you say that," He answered. I smiled as genuinely as possible, but I probably was before anyway, so I might've just looked a bit stupid.

I looked down and silence filled the room for a few seconds. It was an awkward silence, but not exactly uncomfortable. It kind of felt like we took a "moment of silence". "And you Max," Kate started.

"Huh?" I was confused. I didn't know what she was talking about.

"You want affection, even though you put up a wall so others can't get close to you," She diagnosed.

"You think so?"

"I know so, Max," She smiled lovingly. "Yeah, you're awkward and tentative, but you're constantly thinking about others...you constantly thought about _me_."

"That's what makes you Super Max," Warren added.

"Super Max...wowser, it's been a while," I put my hand on my forehead, saying under my breath.

"Huh?" Warren asked, wanting me to repeat it.

"Nothing...just thinking out loud" We had Chloe's door closed, so someone was knocking on it.

"Breakfast is ready, come down and get it." Joyce enunciated from behind the door.

"Okay, coming!" I told her. I put the items I had back where I found them, but I held on to the picture of Chloe and Rachel. I didn't think about asking Joyce cause knowing her she wouldn't mind at all.

The three of us went downstairs , looking at the table with three plates there filled with pancakes, sausages and eggs. It looked delicious as always and all three of our faces were in awe.

It hasn't been that long, but I forgot how good of a cook my mom was. And her cooking combined with Joyce's was a meal made by the Heavens. "Wow, thank you!" The three of us said together, as if it were rehearsed beforehand.

We walked to the table and sat down. Kate looked for every chance to place me and Warren together, it was crazy. So naturally, he sat next to me and Kate sat across from me.

We started eating, and each bite felt special. Even more special than usual, and nostalgic for some reason. "How is it?" Joyce asked, just looking for praise at this point.

"It's great, as always. Better than usual," I answered.

"Why can't I have this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" Warren asked childishly.

"Thank you, Joyce. It's amazing," Kate told her.

A million good things could be said about her cooking, but none of us knew a million words to describe the breakfast, so we left that alone.

As I ate, I started to feel weird. Like I was sent back in time, watching events of the past play out, however that felt. I stopped eating, even though I was almost done. I heard children laughing in my head. Running around, being nothing more but kids.

So many crazy things have happened up to this point, I didn't even know if it was my imagination or if it was something actually happening to me, like the rest of my visions.

 _From the base of the staircase, a younger Joyce yelled for Chloe to come down to get her breakfast, the same one in front of me. It wasn't any special occasion. It was a regular day like any other._

 _Everyday with Chloe was a fun day, but it wasn't like this particular day was better than the rest. It was just normal. I looked at my hand, only to notice that I could barely hold on to the fork. My hand was small, gripping the fork with a fist._

 _I looked across from me, who was supposed to be Kate, was William, reading his paper, while eating his pancakes. Joyce walked up to me, fresh and smiling brightly, "How is it, Max?" She was much larger than I was, and so was William_

 _"I love it! Better than usual!" I answered, but it wasn't me, it was the scenario playing out...I was just viewing it first person._

 _I heard loud, quick footsteps coming down the stairs, and saw a smaller Chloe swing passed the railing of the staircase, running to the table. "Hey, how come you guys started without me?!" Chloe screamed, still running._

 _"You were late!" I screamed back._

 _She came beside me, looking at her plate, then compared it to William's and my own. "And how come they get more than I do!?" She whined._

 _"Because you never finish yours off! You keep on late-night eating!" I talked back to her. I had forgotten I had such a raw attitude back then. Victoria-esque._

 _"Not this time, I didn't have any late-night snacks, so I'm much hungrier this time around! Gimme some, I'll show you!" I quickly held my plate up, fighting off Chloe, trying to save my pancakes._

 _"If you two keep this up, I'll eat both of your breakfasts," William intervened._

 _"And I won't stop him either, sit down and eat quietly, both of you!" Joyce came in._

 _I stuck my tongue out at William. I knew he was a pansy at the time and had a soft spot for me, but Chloe lived close to the edge and stuck her tongue out at Joyce. Then it was dynamic duo vs dynamic duo._

I came back to reality, tears in my eyes that I wasn't even aware about...It was easy to remember the special days. Our birthdays, holidays, special get togethers...but moments like those were so easy to forget about.

We had times like those too, calm moments turning into shit shows, and shit shows becoming calm moments. Now I know why this breakfast felt so special. The days Chloe and I got on William and Joyce's nerves were the best days...days we can never go back to.

"Honey, are you okay?" Mom asked me, worried.

"O-Oh..." I wiped my tears with my wrist. I looked nuts, eating the rest of my breakfast. Kate turned to Warren, Mom turned to Dad, and Joyce stayed looking at me. She was the only one who new the significance in my tears.

She probably had the same memory too. After some more talking all of us were ready to leave. We were in front of her door, dressed, and Joyce wasn't ready to go to Two Whales for another hour or two.

"Take care of yourself, Joyce. If you ever need anything, just call," Mom explained to her.

"I will, hun. Thank you," She replied. I hugged her and everyone else said their goodbyes.

I turned to see Chloe's car parked in front of the garage. I don't know why I didn't notice it earlier. I looked up at the house that wasn't finished being painted. I don't think I'll ever get over not seeing them at their house, but I was ready to move on.

In Dad's car, we took off with Joyce waving bye to us quickly before going back inside. I sat next to the window, leaning against it watching Arcadia drive by me. It wasn't goodbye, and I don't know why it felt like one.

"Do you guys think she'll see the vacation tickets on the table?" Kate asked, curiously.

It was like some kind of rehearsed scenario, but my phone vibrated as she asked that. It was Joyce who texted me. I smiled. She saw it. Before going there, I was struggling to find the words to say, cause I was planning on presenting it to her myself, but no words were needed. We all understood each other.

I didn't even read the message. I will later, but I can almost guess what she said, word for word. I leaned my head on the window smiling with my eyes closed.

 _ **Author Notes: That's the chapter guys and this marks the end of the first arc of the story "recollection" Arc. "Seattle Arc" starts with chapter 10 and this arc is when the story starts to pick up. Thank you all for reading so far and I hope you guys continue to read and enjoy :D**_


	10. UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE READ THIS!

Hey everyone...Haha

Sorry. I've been gone for a LONG LONG TIME. And to be honest. I've got no excuse. I forgot the email and password I used for this account...That's literally all it was. So embarrassing. I really loved this story too.

Anyways, I'm on vacation right now, but I'll be back to continuing this story come August. I just got to get my gears going again and figure out where I'm going with this story. I hope you guys haven't given up on me yet, FateDoctrine bouta go **HARD**

And by the way. I've also got a Archiveofourown account now, under the name Hajiime. I have an account under the same name here as well, but no story is on either of them yet.

I WILL be posting this story on Archiveofourown. I feel more creative freedom is there to do what I need to do. I used to use Wattpad, but just like this, I forgot the user and password. I'm very very forgetful as you can see. So get ready for a big comeback. For those who don't want to switch websites, I will still be posting the story here, but a more detailed, "uncut" version so to speak will be on Archiveofourown. Maybe. We'll have to see, but I'll get back to business the day after I land back in the US, which will be the 1st of August. I come back on the 31st, but it'll be night time once I land and I'll be dead on my bed til morning.

Also, LIFE IS STRANGE 2 AND LIFE IS STRANGE: BEFORE THE STORM **HELLA YES**


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